A Denver Odyssey

Green Chili Jealousy

Once Stevo, Stef, and Tim were ready, they headed over to Jen's to pick up Derek. Since one cannot hike nor climb rocks on an empty stomach, the foursome took a table at a greasy spoon called Mama's Diner. If you are ever in Denver, check it out for a hangover fix. It's located on Colfax between Park Ave. West and Vine St. Not thoroughly exploring the menu as one should do at a new eatery, Derek and Steve ordered traditional breakfast fare. Stef and Tim explored the menu thoroughly and found the best tasting stuff on there. Tim had Machaca, a chorizo, egg and vegetable combo that was even better than he hoped it would be. Stef got huevos rancheros. Who knows what that is. After making Derek and Stevo terribly jealous, Tim spotted a giant mullet parked in the booth right behind Stevo. He snagged a pic of the monstrocity as Stevo and Stef posed with delight.

A Rock Too Red

After the sweet diner experience, it was off to Red Rocks. The group first stopped at a parking lot near some rocks that overlooked the highway, Denver, and the rolling hills surrounding it. The massiveness of the rocks surprised Stef and Tim, who had never see this area before. Derek slipped off his sandals (sandals for hiking??) and tried making his way down a couple nearby rocks, but his journey was prematurely halted when he realized he couldn't safely reach the other rock. After staring at and reading about the giant, layered rocks, they drove to the amphitheater nearby. The amphitheater was built as a Civilian Conservation Corps (CCC) project during the Great Depression under the Roosevelt administration. The basic form of the amphitheater is a natural occurance. Even before the CCC reworked the place, the amphitheater was used for concerts, church services, and other shows as early as 1906. Today, when there are no events scheduled, the amphitheater is open to visitors at no charge.

The foursome began descending the huge set of stairs leading down to the stage. By the time they got down there, they realized they had made a big mistake. They suddenly realized that they would have to climb back up the steep stairway to return to their car. They reluctantly did so, but not before capturing a picture of what they would look like if they were in a band together and had the opportunity to play at Red Rocks. Stef took the role of drummer, Stevo took bass guitar, Derek took lead guitar, and Tim took lead singer. Though they were playing to an empty house, they got a taste of what thousands of performers have experienced when playing live at Red Rocks.

After climbing half way up the steps in the thin air of the Rocky Mountains, the group paused and then continued up the incline. The Winded Four moseyed into the gift shop and museum, taking in the huge plaques filled with every artist who has ever played in the amphitheater. A video was playing detailing the history of the area and had a lot of great interviews with some of the best artists of the 20th and 21st centuries. After that came a short drive to some exposed rock where dinosaur footprints have been discovered. The group found it to be amazing that something so old could be preserved so well and then found again to be enjoyed by all. Tim remembered the visit to Red Rocks in the Captain's Log the early the next morning:

"2:53 a.m. (MST) Red Rocks was awesome! I took a ton of pictures and everyone had a great time. It seemed a bit strange that in the video explaining Red Rocks, it talked about evolution and the changes of the earth as fact instead of theory. I'm not saying I don't believe them or don't think it's true...it just seemed odd. We got some cool pics in and around the ampitheater. Once is of Derek, Steve, Stephanie, and I on the stage playing our instruments. After that, we went to Beau Jo's in Iowa City for a snack. BBQ chicken an mushroom pizza and cheezy garlic bread filled us up quickly. We were all full and tired after an eventful day."

She Put Her What in Her Where?!

After the festivities at Red Rocks wore everyone out, Derek was dropped off at Jen's apartment and the remaining three returned to LoDo for sleeping and resting. A short time later, Jen and Derek drove to LoDo and met up with the LoDonians. They all went to Taste of Denver, a huge festival that celebrates Denver, local artists, and local craftsmen. The place was right near the capital building and took up many city blocks. It comprised of retail booths, food and beer vendors, and live music. Of course, all the food was very expensive, as was the beer. Some of each was enjoyed by everyone in the group, just the same. After walking around for a while, some interesting things happened. Derek describes his entire day in the Captain's Log...

"Sometime the following day (MST) Tiiim dropped me off at Jen's place where I have been slated to stay for an indeterminate amount of time...So, I'm at Jen's and I took Lola to the park. I've taken it upon myself to train that bitch. I hope that she (Lola) does not develop a disproportionate affection for me, further feeding Jen's anger. It was doggie hour at the park. Lola was approaching/avoiding, sprinting, and lying toward the interspecies swarm. I chased/ was chased by her and at one point, she was going so fast that she could not change directions when I did, resulting in me having to leap over her chop block. She careened into the grass, skidded on her chin, limbs akimbo, until doing a full flip. Ok, that was way too much about Lola-ola, but Tiiim loves her so much.

"So we went to Taste of Denver. I asked Jen if it was better than Taste of Chicago but soon figured out she has no worthwhile reference because of her eating habits. I hada Philly Cheesesteak which was good, but nothing like Del's in Ocean City. Tiiim had funnel cake and everyone had beer except beer except me. The police dragged a drunk by both arms much like Sue's flying move in Footloose. Later that night, we went to a stripclub. It will have been my second, Tiiim, Jen, and Stephanie's first, and Stevo has lost count. Jen knew the bouncer at the front door which I thought should have been a much bigger deal. She was the most uncomfortable one by far, and I would think that she would have been terribly embarrassed. She may have been, but she kept it inside until she basically was weeping...Tiiim was initially uncomfortable but I got him to the stage-side seats. A short-haired stripper was taking her frustrations out on her own vagina, slamming it repeatedly into the stage while doing the splits, then doing a backward roll into another vag slam. It was quite annoying. My favorite part of the night was when that same stripper was making my "ticket-buying face"/"gha...look at the time" face while both of her legs were completely behind her head. Jen got a little action from her also. Who really go action was Stephanie who totally did the "no...no way...well, it'll be fun...I'm curious...she told me 'where did you come from girl?' and she'll come over to our table later." She was in love with a pudgy, brunette stripper and I felt good that she was able to experience male longing for manipulative boobies. Tim was shorted $10. Jen would not speak on the way home. She was extremely upset...The strippers there were extremely apathetic, not going after dollars and not even trying to hustle lap dances...."

As you can see, our fearless adventurers got themselves into odd and unusual situations. We'll have to wait and see what kind of antics the group gets themselves into throughout the following days.